Shit really happens, and it sucks

     I feel so down, I feel so angry, I want to shout at the top of my lungs because I can't do this anymore. I want to exhale every single madness I have, every ounce of sadness I'm feeling right now. I feel so alone and weak, it feels like I'm alone in this fight, I'm alone and no one really cares to help me. They will just say "you can do this", "you can do that" but they didn't move an inch to help me or just lend me their hand to "try" to help me. Konti na lang sasabog na ko, konting konti na lang hindi ko na kakayanin. No one really knows what I feel, no one really knows because they are not in my shoes, they are not me who is in the middle of this fight surrounded by enemies and no one in my team wants to help me because they just really don't care at all. Inch by inch I am losing myself and I'm afraid of that feeling. If nobody wants to help me get through this, then I'll just distance myself and try to find people who can help and will try to help me to the best that they could. 

Monday madness

I am lost and confused right now. I do not know what should I do or where should I go. No clue is given into why these things are happening to me. I just want to have a better life, a better future not just for me but also for my family. But why does everything seems out of my hand? Why does everytime I'm aiming for something big there is always a reason for me to struggle, to worry, to be depressed? I think it is unfair to me because I am not doing anything wrong, anything that will make other people suffer. Why Am I always suffering? Why Am I always challenged? I am weak, I am not that strong, that is why I do not get why these things happen to me. I am pleading for mercy, I am pleading for help, I am pleading for peace, I am pleading for blessings, I am pleading for miracle..please I am just weak.